How Can I Save My Marriage?
Is your marriage in trouble? Are you asking yourself the question 'how can I save my marriage?'.
There are many experts that philosophize on the subject of how to save a marriage, yet there is no single answer that fits all. In this article we'll describe the three building blocks that any successful marriage thrives on.
If you find yourself in an abusive marriage, asking yourself how can I save my marriage can make no sense especially when you deal with physical abuse or mental abuse. Such a marriage is likely to be in a downward spiral, and chances are that it is just going to get worse irrespective of whether you are a woman or a man. Yes, while women report being abused more often, men too get abused in relationships. You don't need someone hurting you emotionally or physically, do you.
Having said that, if you want to save your marriage then you need to start early on, before you are heading to an attorney. When people get married, they don't ask themselves such dramatic questions how can I save my marriage as they still are looking at each other through the eyes of perfection. They don't think to themselves, 'hey, eventually we are going to get divorced,' it happens over time as their marriage starts to deteriorate. After that new marriage smell is over, and you start getting into a routine, having kids, supporting your family, etc, that is when things may start to go downhill. You stop talking to each other, holding back feelings or problems, and start to separate yourself from your spouse until one day, you wake up next to a stranger.
There are three great qualities that a marriage should have to it if you are willing to keep it whole for a long time. Oftentimes these qualities or ideals if you will are just fine early on, but over time these can break down. For example, when people become unfaithful, it's not even about the sex, it's because they are just lacking something in their marriage that they once had and sex is only a scapegoat over which they pull their marriage apart. So what are those three great qualities you might be thinking and how can I save my marriage that is in trouble capitalizing on those!?
Now, any couple aspiring to a healthy and loving relationship should start practicing what is called the holy marriage trinity: Communication, Honesty, and Trust.
Communication is at the top of the triangle, because without it, there is no honesty or trust, and you can't have the other two without communication with your spouse.
At the beginning of your marriage you probably talked about any subject without any objection to the opinion of one another and you listened to each other as if the two of you were the center of the universe. You can't let this go away, and if it has, then you need to find ways of getting it back in your life. Chances are your spouse also, deep withing their soul are asking themselves the same question 'how can I save my marriage' and most likely they are also feeling the same way, but the only way you will know is by sitting down with them and talking about it.
Communication doesn't mean talking about random meaningless things like the weather, politics, gossip and celebs. Communication means actively listening as well.
At this point you need to keep your feelings and emotions in check, because getting into an argument is going to have the opposite effect, and push them away even further. If you have to, get a close friend or family member to come in and help you by being a stable voice.